LILITH: PERCHED IN SILENCE

Playground Rules & Physics

In my dreams we were in Charleston imagining apparitions and clowns

I wonder how we could devise plans to become ghosts together in a tourist town to scare off kids and lovers alike

And seeing how they still wanted us around even

The devil horned

The pale-blue eyed

The predatorial smiles

The dirty skinned

 

A Murder of Crow,

A Flight of Snow Geese

In Winter’s frigid manner

Their feet lifting off from the ground into a frightening flight

Wings whirring in the wind

To a bleakness up above

With a singled eye

Blindfolded

 

To be, but afar from the clashing & clamoring of the flock

To be, but still, quiet…beautiful-alone in the dark

Only to listen to a drop of water from the mental spigot running smoothly and softly across the rusted pipe of every dream you ever thought you were part of

To a childhood in the dust of Poe’s dream

Today’s sour hour is now,

Returning to The Higher

To begin again

Still, quiet…beautiful-together in the dark

 

081

Mixed Media by MMM

Advertisements

Detours and Triple Deuces

Something to be Said

Photo by Doug Kerr.

I once took Route 1 from Virginia to New Jersey by using a AAA atlas. This was around 2000 – way before Google Maps or the guiding voice of Siri. In my black Dodge Neon, I pulled over periodically to check the way, using my finger to follow the road off the page and onto the next when I crossed state lines. When I finally left the main road for the highway, I felt like I was Lewis or Clark or Jacques Motherfucking Cousteau.

Almost twenty years later, when I first moved to Reading, Pennsylvania, I stared at a new map, not printed, but pixelated. Tethered by a job to a location in the middle of everything and connected to nothing, I zoomed in and zoomed out on Google Maps. I plotted radii from livable cities. Philadelphia? Allentown? I calculated commuting miles and planned alternate routes, trying to find a way out, a road back to where I thought I belonged.

 

***

In April 2013, on my way back from my niece’s wedding in North Carolina, I pulled my car over on I-95 before I hit the standstill-likely construction-induced traffic, somewhere around Maryland. I’d taken the exit on a hunch and hoped my GPS would recalculate the rest. My dad, in the front-seat, and uncle, in the back, ad-libbed the detour.

“Man look at all the land they got out here,” my dad said as we drove past fields and barns and cows, now making our way through Pennsylvania. “They got as much land out here as North Carolina.”

Uncle James (never as much of a fan of North Carolina) wasn’t as impressed, but something did catch his attention.

“Triple deuces,” he called, like a casino card dealer, as we passed a sign for Route 222: the road we’d follow to I-78. “Two. Two. Two. I’m gonna play that number when I get home. Sure am.”

***

 

When I wasn’t staring at the map, I was going about my life, equal parts work and grocery shopping. One day, I decided to join Sam’s Club and set the destination in my car GPS unit.

Somewhere in the middle of the twenty-minute drive, I heard Uncle James.

Triple deuces.

The route, which I’d driven before, suddenly became more than the sum of its parts: Two. Two. Two. As much time as I’d spent staring at Google Maps, I hadn’t realized that my dad, Uncle James, and I had been here before. I had been so focused on getting away that I hadn’t taken time to appreciate where I was.

I wanted to believe Route 222 was a sign as concrete as the white and black one on the side of the highway: an assurance that detours are part of the journey, a reminder that the memories made along the way were more important than the destination, and a lesson that what I was genuinely seeking wouldn’t be found on any map.

When I finally left the highway for Sam’s Club, I felt like I was Lewis or Clark or Jacques Motherfucking Cousteau.

 

 

Did you enjoy this article? Consider subscribing to TERSE. for as little as $1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/TERSE.