“Being Pulled Ten Ways While Focusing on Becoming One” by Jordannah Elizabeth

Braving the Days

February is always an interesting month. The American New Year is on January 1st, and everyone is scrambling to get their bearings, some reeling about Valentine’s Day, focused on love and romance.

I like February, it feels like the seasonal Wild West. Resolutions, solutions, finding comfort after being held by holiday obligations can leave one feeling pulled in ten ways while focusing on becoming one again, wanting to get back to the routine of the daily forward movement towards…whatever goals one might have.

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I still have so much to learn, while I’ve been doing the same thing for years – there are times when my life, work and narrative all aligns, there are times when I feel alone. Luckily, being a writer is a solitary job and a pleasure for me, so loneliness isn’t something I feel often.

I have been a bit vulnerable today because it is a New Moon. I feel at peace and at the same time like I can’t do anything right. I’m comfortable in this experience because it is temporary and also, doing right is a very personal thing, and the pleasure of life comes when you let your ideals go and you sit with yourself and remember that every single day brings a new experience.

Where will I be two years from now? I’ll look back and everything will be a memory. That is a settling feeling. It is possible to stay in the present but not let it hold you in a state of permanence.  It is good to remember that when there is anxiety in the air. Next year, even if you live in the same home, everything will be different.

So, in this February, on this New Moon I feel at peace. Tomorrow, I may not, but right now, while getting situated in life along with everyone who scrambles to find their footing – whether it be in love, or anything else.

Spring is almost here– but I should note that it was a 60 degree day on the East Coast of the United States today. It was quite beautiful and magical. But while we all get through the winter and settle back in, it’s nice to know that change is always guaranteed. There will be a day where change is will be something I fear, but not today, not this season.

I am thankful.

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