The numerology of 9; I will not delve or glide down a winding road, though, the 36th year, is of some significance, and in the midst of a portion of experience. It is a portion because it has been less than 4 months following my lunar return, a birthday that equals 9, a number of completion and a positive culmination of a cycle of learning. 

It feels like the life has taught me, whoever that is, to live as if I am watching the boundless, the eternal, churn and spill as if ink has flowed onto a porous surface. And every small crater, a piece of dented, packed soil for which of which I knew well but could not halt every fear, every circumstance from revisiting. 

This is neither good nor bad. This age is a point in which I’ve begun to find peace within the certain uncertainty, and embrace the myriad of changes inside, and accept life for what it is. Change and peace do not seem to be synonymous, or counter intuitive, but the can exist as one. 

And I guess, there is also the presence of a fact of a matter: that tumult should not be expected, but, if not a part of awareness, naivety and unpreparedness may result in the inability to properly help one’s self and others.

This quarter of my 36th year has, as I’ve been told, begun a new 12 year cycle. So, possibly it all begins here. And being that life, interestly, does not look vastly different from last year, I intuit that the newness is a form of the past. 

Living cycles within a lifespan, and arriving upon 9, is an experience to be remembered because I will never be the same. I find beauty and solice, the quiet joy of aging, and a subtle mourning of youth. 

Though experience feels more complete. 

The bliss of past youthful seasons should be nurtured with fondness.