It was like this: she was there 

until she wasn’t 

In the time it takes for the sun to dip below the ground 

She left everyone 

Towards new sights and new sounds 

New quiet like quiet she’d never known before 

New darkness like the darkness behind your eyelids can’t hold a candle to

She left us all for it 

Until 

I grabbed 

Her arm 

And wiped the sticky blood on the front of my jeans 

And asked her, how many times will I grieve you?

________________________________

Ella Wade is a hitherto unpublished 16-year-old living in Indiana who writes about their experiences as a nerdy, neurodivergent lesbian in the American public school system.