Time has passed and I may have to admit that there is no magnum opus to be had. I can feel external circumstances beginning to create stress and lethargy that I am struggling to control.
Shelter in Place.
The order has been solidified.
My entire life has been about Freedom –
creating it, having access to it, experimenting with it, traveling, learning, meandering.
I was doing very well. I was actively preparing for such a time as this by gathering bulk items, cooking family dinners and attending our movie nights to make sure we didn’t feel isolated and alone. I knew the order was coming, I knew this dystopian reality was going to become stricter and more aggressive, but I was not prepared for the quiet psychological toll it would have on me.
It’s only been one day.
The magnum opus has been cancelled.
It was never that I planned to be the one to create it. I had just been thinking about the neo-classics…no, not the 18th century Western creative movement, but the art and music of the past 15 years that will inevitably become classics in the future. My favorite example of a future classic is “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late”. The first six songs of this 2015 mixtape changed the trajectory of my life. It informed my art and made me see the world in a completely different manner.
I am a music critic, I could go into the forms and modes of this body of work but my analysis is simple: it could very well be a magnum opus. I’m not cancelling my undying loyalty to the album and its impact, I am cancelling my ability to freely explore the crevices of my mind until further notice.
Nonetheless, in being able to write this entry of Braving the Days I am realizing that all may not be lost. It’s just going to take a bit more intention on my part to open my mind and create new work. The ability to write this column is a form of freedom. I am glad that I was able to leave my bedroom and sit myself at my dining room table and permeate and ooze my musings, my micro-offerings to the world. Now that I am writing, and experiencing a flow, it may be time that I re-think and reinvent what it means to be free.
Every day, I am going to have to re-think and reinvent.
I will have to adapt to living in a global crisis
that forces me to helplessly adhere to governmental and executive orders.
It has always been important for me to be in control of my external stimuli. My home has been my office since the beginning of my career. I was remote working long before it was considered a sustainable way. And more so, whenever I work in a school, I am able to create the lesson plans and syllabi. My ability to execute without micro-management has made me a trusted employer of my short lived in-house endeavors. If there was conflict or strife at a job, I always had the fall back of working from home and writing.
These times must be perfect.
These times are not perfect. This season is riddled with death, suffering and strife,
the gnashing of teeth and the loss of loved ones.
I do not celebrate.
But I must make my announcement while believing that healing and healthy times are ahead.
The magnum opus
I have decided, for now
Has Been Cancelled.