“Anhedonis, Anhedonia” by Aïcha Martine

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`

I am tired of worrying my youth away, I am tired of being worried, I am tired

You want to hold on to it, that certain lightness of being

You said child, child: once it goes, never comes your way again

`

Simone says “ain’t nobody perfect ’cause ain’t nobody free”

Couldn’t be perfect, lightness forbid, could never be free

I am tired of worrying my youth away, I am tired of being worried, I am tired

`

Only have my words, warping the Eye turned toward the world

Yearn to reach those masterful heights, paralyzed by victory

You said child, child: once it goes, never comes your way again

`

No lessons, just losses, walk long tunnels, don’t see their end

I shut these titillations away in my sanded wooden drawers

I am tired of worrying my youth away, I am tired of being worried, I am tired

`

But sometimes the weight, it jams and they flicker out

Tendrils reaching reaching touching invasive

You said child, child: once it goes, never comes your way again

`

So girl: wash the sunshine off your skin

Blinkered lights, wintered souls at dawn

I am tired of worrying my youth away, I am tired of being worried, I am tired

You said child, child: once it goes, never comes your way again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aïcha Martine is finishing her Music/Creative Writing 2nd BA at Columbia College Chicago. Previously she was an occasional art columnist for l’ARgot, an online French-language art, film and theater magazine based in Montréal, an Editorial Consultant for FLAPPERHOUSE, and a First Reader for Strange Horizons. At the moment, she is an Assistant Editor for Reckoning Press, and a Managing Editor for The Nasiona. She is a member of the African Speculative Fiction Society. Her writing has notably appeared in Hair Trigger 2.0, Bright Wall/Dark Room, Metaphorosis, Medium, Lamplight, The Rumpus, the Score! anthology, and her own website Maelstrom. Find her @Maelllstrom