Seeing my mother standing there with all of her grandchildren looking more infantile
Walking around, carrying the infant that is me
Wishing I had a dad that took us fishing not teaching us anything about how to fish
Wishing I had a dad…
—
Finally in time, I have created a family
A family I have always needed
Though I sought out glimmers of it in friends’ homes
—
Nobody celebrates the victories that were overcome
But, I did…
Nobody will acknowledge the injustices that were lived through
But, I will…
Connecting it to all of humanity’s sufferings?
—
So…
No, I am not unique
I am not profound
I am not special like a child
—
Knowing now what it is like to be a woman as I witness my mother
Applying her makeup as tears drain from her eyes
Reapplying her gritty mascara as it smears her sandy foundation
Readjusting and pulling up her “big girl panties”
—
Maybe, it was just an Arizona Oppression
Peering outside from inside of the nail salon window
Seeing that we were in a strip mall parking lot
There were brand-new cars spilled over like apple carts
Yes, SPEND & CONSUME
Because buy shiny, you’re dull
You’re shiny, buy dull
—
Getting my nails polished the color of Ivy Green Walls requesting to have a golden dot of the Phoenix Sun in the corner of my ring finger nail
In honor of the burn I’ve endured from trying to thrive in this desert land
I served my time here, Arizona, I mean
I remember a prison that was my home, 12 years long
Where I died
To travel back in time, then slowly re-birthed 8 years later in a nail-salon
Smelling the offense of mercury laced strawberry lotion from China
The middle-aged woman beside me tripped and said that her “middle name is Grace” as she almost met the ground
Wasting my time here was like too many evenings organizing a junk drawer
Wondering if these thoughts I am having were from the Acetone leaking onto my brain;
“What if Santa Clause was Buddha?”
Giving us gifts to remind us that all suffering stems from desire
Want more…
Gratitude, now?
—
Happy New Year!
The Great Depression Coffee in here tastes like eau de toilette
We fight ourselves
In 4th dimensions
Measurements
Juices iced-down
Then, sized up
Smoke break?
Air break?
Which is it?
One or the other?
Or both?
Hyper-cubes
5th dimension
Taking data
Knowing nothing
—
Stuck in space eating mental breakdowns for breakfast in forms of sad sandwiches
AND Stuck in here with Danny, asking me for my socks
I’m glad I gave him a pair of clean ones for Molly
But I didn’t know they weren’t for her
He gave them back to me an hour later
Oh Danny, may God be with you and all the feet you sniff, lick and taste
Sketch drawing in ink by MMM