SAD SANDWICHES: Baloney & Plastic Wrapped Cheese, no mayo by Moriah M. Mylod

Seeing my mother standing there with all of her grandchildren looking more infantile

Walking around, carrying the infant that is me

Wishing I had a dad that took us fishing not teaching us anything about how to fish

Wishing I had a dad…

Finally in time, I have created a family

A family I have always needed

Though I sought out glimmers of it in friends’ homes

Nobody celebrates the victories that were overcome

But, I did…

Nobody will acknowledge the injustices that were lived through

But, I will…

Connecting it to all of humanity’s sufferings?

So…

No, I am not unique

I am not profound

I am not special like a child

Knowing now what it is like to be a woman as I witness my mother

Applying her makeup as tears drain from her eyes

Reapplying her gritty mascara as it smears her sandy foundation

Readjusting and pulling up her “big girl panties”

Maybe, it was just an Arizona Oppression

Peering outside from inside of the nail salon window

Seeing that we were in a strip mall parking lot

There were brand-new cars spilled over like apple carts

Yes,  SPEND & CONSUME

Because buy shiny, you’re dull

You’re shiny, buy dull

Getting my nails polished the color of Ivy Green Walls requesting to have a golden dot of the Phoenix Sun in the corner of my ring finger nail

In honor of the burn I’ve endured from trying to thrive in this desert land

I served my time here, Arizona, I mean

I  remember a prison that was my home, 12 years long

Where I died

To travel back in time, then slowly re-birthed 8 years later in a nail-salon

Smelling the offense of mercury laced strawberry lotion from China

The middle-aged woman beside me tripped and said that her “middle name is Grace” as she almost met the ground

Wasting my time here was like too many evenings organizing a junk drawer

Wondering if these thoughts I am having were from the Acetone leaking onto my brain;

“What if Santa Clause was Buddha?”

Giving us gifts to remind us that all suffering stems from desire

Want more…

Gratitude, now?

Happy New Year!

The Great Depression Coffee in here tastes like eau de toilette

We fight ourselves

In 4th dimensions

Measurements

Juices iced-down

Then, sized up

Smoke break?

Air break?

Which is it?

One or the other?

Or both?

Hyper-cubes

5th dimension

Taking data

Knowing nothing

Stuck in space eating mental breakdowns for breakfast in forms of sad sandwiches

AND Stuck in here with Danny, asking me for my socks

I’m glad I gave him a pair of clean ones for Molly

But I didn’t know they weren’t for her

He gave them back to me an hour later

Oh Danny, may God be with you and all the feet you sniff, lick and taste

ARIZONADESERTMYLOD

Sketch drawing in ink by MMM

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